YOUR ADDICTION.

Friday, December 4, 2009 { 3:01 PM }

we used to be close, all three of us. but circumstances changed abang and made him more reserved. things he went through, i dont think i'd have the strength to pull through. waiting outside the Emergency Centre at NUH yesterday made me think. i thought Allah was being unfair to my mother and my elder brother. my elder brother is always getting sick and my mother is always thrown with challenges in life, i think she's had more than enough. it was real tough seeing my mother cry yesterday, the first after abang's cancer period. she looked so petrified, so vulnerable, it made me scared. it was like a similar scenario i had been through around 4 years ago and i swear i'd do anything to not have to go through that again. abg had asthma, cancer, and i didnt know what was going to happen to him. honestly, i was really really scared for him, i wished it was me inside there, not him. i bet he's sick of the hospital. the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor. the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital. he's been there too many a times and i'm sure he doesnt want my mother to keep worrying about him. but alhamdulillah, everything's fine now. his gums were bleeding because 4 wisdom tooth wanted to grow but the jaw bones prevented them from growing. he showed me a video he took while he was in the toilet, and it was terribly disgusting.

the more i thought about it, the more i realised. Allah loves us, loves my family. that's why he keeps putting us through situations like this. there he goes again, giving me another chance yet to right my wrongs, indirectly.